This morning travelling in the Metro, I saw a father explaining to his five-year-old– the meaning of caution. The baby picked up the word from the notice glued on the sliding door. I saw the kid listening attentively, every word his father had to say. I asked myself, would he be listening to his father, like he is listening to him now— when he will be 16– when the latter will be cautioning him about things.
I don’t think so!
The World is a black and white place; it is equally good and bad. But as we always reveal the good and hide the bad from kids, they just don’t see any evil in the world. Thus, it’s important to stay closely in touch with them. Sharing the wisdom earned from experiences is a must, as it will help the child cruise harmlessly through the high-risk years.
But to convey, you need to have that connect. How to build that connect, Follow BOB!
First, be a friend: For a friendship to flourish, sense of mutual loyalty, trust, and respect are a must. Authority has to take the backseat to give way to meaningful conversations in an informal setting. The child needs to feel that he is being addressed as an individual with a mind of his own. Then only, you can expect them to be sharing thoughts, hopes, ideas, and feelings, and accept your feedback and suggestions.
Don’t bring in the past or time travel: He was fifteen when he made that mistake; you need not remind him the instance now when he is sixteen. Dear Daddy/ Mommy, he had his lesson and is a sensible being now. Never dig the past during a conversation, as it will immediately make him repulsive, and he won’t pay heed to whatever follows after that!
Image Source: World under watch
Cop Like surveillance: He is not serving a term; he is out here on this planet to live life. Give him the freedom from early years, as that will help him become a better decision maker. Every decision will not be right, but he will learn a great deal from experiences. Observe him, instead of monitoring and if anytime you spot something disturbing, talk it out.
Silence: You need not be on top of your voice when he does something wrong. Rather, you can just make him realise that you are aware of what he has done, and not discuss it further. Silence speaks louder than words, and your silence will communicate your message in a much intense way than otherwise.
Image Source: Technology Advice
Comparison: Think logically. How would you feel if your child compares you with Niel Armstrong or Albert Einstein? What if he said, I wish I had that man as my father. To compare is to despair.